1 Dalmation

I watched a movie the other night with some of my favourite people. It was called 101 Dalmations, not sure if you have heard of it, it is a 1961 animated Disney movie. It was quite interesting but it gave me an idea about a movie of my own, (because I am such an interesting dog, after all).

I think it could be called 1 Dalmation (which is a little bit like the movie I watched, 101 Dalmations) but really, what is the point of 101 of them? They all looked the same! Whereas I am a very handsome liver spotted Dalmation with loads of character.

I was thinking that I could play myself (of course) although they would have to find an actor Dalmation to play me when I was very small. How hard can acting be? I can play dead, surely I can play myself alive as well?

Casting the other major characters would be a challenge, though.

Probably someone extremely good looking and talented for my favourite person. Maybe Jessica Lange or is she a bit long in the tooth (boom boom, get it?) So maybe Cate Blanchett? at least she is Australian.

For THAT MAN I imagine someone like Jim Carrey. Not that I particularly like Jim Carrey, but I don't particularly like THAT MAN either. Jim Carrey can be funny (and so can THAT MAN, especially when he is not trying).

Casting of my room mate, Bundy will also be difficult. You'd think he could play himself but I don't think he's actually bright enough to know how to be himself, he would probably end up acting like some stupid little Maltese Terrier or something, overacting badly and trying to please everyone, or a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, stressing out with nerves and trying to steal the limelight for himself. No, I don't think so, Perhaps best to write him out of the story early. Perhaps he can go away on holidays, or...

Yes, I know, Bundy could get get dog-napped, perhaps to Dalmatia, which would then give me a chance to go over and save him, meet up with some long lost relatives, try some local food, hmm, sounds pretty good. And while over there I could meet up with a love interest, perhaps another beautiful liver spotted Dalmation (although I have a sneaking suspicion that one of my trips to the vet means that my new friendship may, alas, remain platonic).

In the 101 Dalmations movie there was a baddie, Cruella De Vil - just thinking about her makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up! Whet a piece of work she was! Although we could probably re-work THAT MAN into the baddie, perhaps played by Anthony whats his name that did those cannibal/hannibal movies. Scary. But so is THAT MAN sometimes. I would have to check that the shoe size is right, because I know quite clearly that THAT MAN is a size 12.

Of course I would have to get the better of him in the end and emerge as the hero of the piece. Possibly involving car chases and explosions, and saving my favourite person and my new love interest from death (or a fate worse than death, whatever THAT is). Perhaps banish him to the dog house for a while so at the end of the movie I am the one who gets to sleep in the big bed with my favourite person, instead of him! YeSSSS1!!!!

You'd pay to go and see that at the movies, wouldn't you? After all, if Milo and Otis can do it, surely anyone can!